04 Sep Nosce Te Ipsum!
In the past I have literally hated what I did for a living. I don’t like to even type that word, let alone say it. Living life like that literally sucked at my soul and made me miserable and completely unhealthy! Do you realize how many people live like that?
I used to wonder “what is wrong with me” that I couldn’t be happy with this life, job and routine I had?
Looking back I can see that, in a nut shell it had to do with me not knowing myself, loving and accepting that self. Honestly I also was just beginning to figure me out, probably about mid-30s.
It seems like ages ago now that I finally gave myself permission to be ME, and forgave myself for having ever felt that way – like something was wrong with me. It’s just how we are at times in our lives… we are humans after all. Imperfectly perfect.
It’s a process, this whole ‘growing up’ business. As long as we’re alive we are learning who we are. Or should be if you ask me. (I’ll take “Personal Growth” for $1000 Alex) I believe we are on a journey here to find out who we are and then strive to be the very best version of ourselves walking around bumping energies with each other.
I’ve always been fascinated with discovering how and why I am the way I am and how and why I think the way I do – and seeing things in others as well. It has helped me many times over in my personal training and health coaching business and with personal perceptions and feelings towards people in general. (don’t even get me started about “The Actual Truth” vs. “Your Personal Perceptions” – that’s for another day!).
Through this journey of life I have been able to “see” the many people and circumstances that have been placed in front of me which helped me get to a better version of myself. Some situations sucked immensely, some were glorious and wonderful.
Sometimes we take the wrong path and have to double back, regroup and say to ourselves, nope, that choice was not for me, let’s try again. Forgive and move the heck along. The hard part is not beating ourselves up about it. It’s really cool to be able to look back and see and understand why things happened the way they did and what a gift it was. Sometimes it’s good to see the path behind you so that the one in front has less bumps in it.
I’ve found one of the best ways to go about things is realizing it’s a gift as the crap is actually hitting the fan. That takes some practice. That practice can take decades. But wait. I’m not sure if it’s ever actually a fun process to go through, but helpful? Perhaps. Soooo – moving along…
In 2008 or so my world turned upside down. When all the “big and little gyms” started opening up I had to figure out how to THRIVE again instead of survive. The water was becoming too crowded, inundated. People became even MORE confused than they already were about this fitness stuff!
It seems that building wings on the way down after I had jumped has always been how I roll. Which honestly, I kind of dig. It’s exciting and I am not a big detail lady. We’ll figure that stuff out later right? I have however, gotten much better at that in 2019. Ha!
What has saved me along the way is talking with people. It helps sharing our journey and challenges, listening and implementing ideas from those conversations, from those people that know more than you do about this strategic business planning stuff and other areas of life. I have a lot of information to share, but I am a listener. (not perfect, perhaps not even good, but I hear you! I see you).
People show up at my door with all kinds of life issues, exhaustions, disappoints and junk. I tell them: TALK. Let it out. Maybe I have a thought, or experience that will help them through their pain at the moment. Help them relax and laugh. Realism, human behavior is downright flipping wonderfully weird. I just like to shine a light on it! And laugh. It shifts thinking to a more loving, forgiving, we’re all in this crap together mentality, relaxed state of being.
I listen. I listen to my friends, people – understanding all the while how I too can show up at times with people… I am grateful for those who listen to me without judgement. It’s one of my gifts I have strengthened. Listening. I see and hear people’s pain… they just need to talk it out. I don’t need to fix it. My junk doesn’t need to be fixed…. We all just need to be heard.
(it’s that weird human thing again)
I can see where God’s hand has literally plopped people and situations down into my life to help me along the way. Like an amazing game of chess He places them in just the right position, at just the right time. I believe our “job” is to notice, accept His grace. Feeling this way makes it easy for me to be humble, thankful and grateful and use those gifts – make the move, take action, jump.
For the record, I am not just another personal trainer. When the people that need me are ready and find me, which is part of their journey by the way, that’s when the magic happens for them, and… for me. Our little worlds collide. Quite frankly, it’s a gift every time it happens, and I have learned to see it. I get the honor and privilege of helping people once they make that decision, change their health and well being, not just that, but their very outlook and attitude.
It is so awesome to meet someone, a stranger, start working with them, become friends and literally see them light up from the inside out as time goes by and eye popping results start to happen. Sometimes our meeting segues into other areas of life and opportunities and a whole new path reveals itself.
Right now, I love what I do for a living. I have worked out of the house with this business for seventeen years at this time. This fact blows me away at times… so stinkin’ grateful. Heck I’ve raised my two sons doing this business and being able to be ‘at home’ when they got off the bus from school was a miraculous blessing.
I believe that part of our “job” here on earth is to be AWARE. Not only of others, but our own self. So many things fail in life because we are not aware of our feelings, then our thoughts spin out of control and actions and behaviors are chosen. Those actions and behaviors are picked out of that often misguided deck of “playing cards” held deep in our subconsciousness that should have been updated or even tossed long ago.
Everyone knows that life is a learning experience, right? Don’t you feel sometimes that you are deepening? Constantly shifting, changing, growing? I do. For me it seems it’s on a three year cycle. I think it’s important to surround ourselves with others who hear us, see us and support our personal growth and can also be real and authentic in the whole perfectly imperfectness of each of us.
How does this tie in to my personal training business? Well, I have found that losing weight and choosing a healthy lifestyle or an unhealthy lifestyle ties in to how people feel on a daily basis, their thoughts about themselves, the people around them, their habits, how they grew up and other psychological patterns. I do a lot of reading – usually about three books are open somewhere, and they’re mostly about human behavior. Man! Are we weirdos!
I am guessing you’re not very surprised at this point when I tell you that I’ve been called “intense” on more than one occasion? Shocker!
While that can be true, I am also a goofball. I’d rather laugh, be kind, move through it with ease. A sense of humor, forever deepening faith and personal healing can get ya through the crappy times when they pop up.
Here are a couple of really terrific things that have helped me get unstuck; more dialed in and intentional with my life. If you feel you are stuck and unfocused, perhaps they can help you too get unstuck.
Creating a better YOU can be challenging because you REALLY have to be honest with yourself. But I promise you, if you get real with yourself, you’ll become a more authentic YOU and your whole world will open up. Don’t let fear stop you. It’s all good honey! When you start to get uncomfortable, that’s when you know the good juju is happening. Let. It. Happen! Cry. Laugh. Scream. Throw the book across the room. But release it, let it go. It’ll clear your mind.
Here’s a little secret: You aren’t foolin’ anyone with your bullshit. It shows up. People can feel it, whether you think they can or can’t. You can’t run from it, so you might as well make friends with yourself. (hugs!)
Write Down Your “Shit”
Yep. Get that junk out of you! What do you want from this life? How do you want to wake up feeling? Write it down. Journal your thoughts. Who’s pissing you off? Who’s stressing you out and irritating you? Are you bored? Write to yourself how bored you are. Write your errand list down. No matter if nothing comes to mind: Write. It. Down.
I promise this is the best, cheapest therapy you’ll ever experience! This is a huge outlet for figuring these things out in your life. White, lined paper, blue ink. It works. Write your stream of consciousness out, don’t think about it, just write. Got it?
When I first started journaling (early, mid-30s or so) it was messy, angry writing…but hey! I was angry and in a bad place. However as time passed my writing flowed smoother, easier. I quit throwing the journal across the room…
I was guided through this process by this awesome book that a friend told me about 20 years ago. I had been betrayed horribly by someone I considered a friend. Can you relate? I was desperate to not feel the way I felt so I jumped at it. Back stabbers suck by the way! Make sure you’re not one. Ha!
It was a self-propelled 12 week course book. Every Sunday night is when I would read the chapter and then follow through with the “homework” for the week. This is the book: The Artist’s Way. It literally changed my life and started to help me get back to… moi. It also reminded me of my creativity and where I began the path I am now on!
It will challenge you and is not for the faint of heart. Personal growth never is. However, you can do it. Stop the b.s. and get real with you.
If you are interested in other great books that might help you to get you closer to you, feel free to write me at: [email protected] I have so many many others that have shifted my perception for the better, my greater self. Just let me know. (((Hugs!)))
Be Definite In Your Aims, Don’t Drift
You are not driftwood. We were not meant to drift along aimlessly in this life, letting things bump up against us or just ‘happen’ to us and saying “Well, it is what it is” or “That’s just the way it goes.” Whooey! I believe we were born with a definiteness of purpose.
However, we are all human. We drift. We get side tracked with life, loves, jobs and other things that sweep us off course. Only to awaken, if we’re lucky, and realize years have gone by and we’ve slipped into a rhythm, a habit of just going about our days doing the same thing over and over, even when we know somewhere deep inside it’s not where we’re supposed to be. There is an incredible book I’ve read that will, well… kinda freak you out when you read it! It is chilling and inspired me to take a stronger hold on the reins of my life.
The book that has opened my eyes a little wider about who I am is “Outwitting the Devil” The Secret to Freedom and Success by Napoleon Hill, (edited and annotated by Sharon Lechter. READ this book and get your pen ready as well. This book made me extremely aware of my behaviors and rattled me a bit! Put your armor on. Knowledge is power.
Another oldie, but goodie: the Bible. Yowza! I think this is the one I have, but it’s a couple decades old now, worn, loved, tear stained and well marked in ink on nights I thirsted for healing of my heart and soul.
It really is a truly wonderful book. Have you by chance opened and read a Bible lately? Seriously fascinating stuff. Mine is a study bible. It helps me wrap my brain around understanding what is trying to be taught to us/me. I have learned more in the past couple of decades about how He loves me, (and all of us!) and it has made me stronger; kinder, more compassionate, more loving… more me. It has made me a happier person and woman.
What is my intention here in writing this? Well, who knows really, other than the fact that I was pressed to do so from some feeling inside of me. This IS my ‘journaling’ sometimes I suppose. As you know, I normally like to write about weight loss and fitness, however this is so extremely pervasive in people’s lives that I find I cannot not write about how it affects us all.
If at the end the day, by reading one of these books, you have just one epiphany and grew into a better you – then how cool for you right! Go you personal growther you!
I hesitated to share this last one, but would be remiss if I didn’t share this book as well. I originally bought it because of a relationship I was getting out of… many moons ago now. Long story short, that, thankfully, did not work out. However, I also know how to look and find the gifts in this type of life experience. The book is called Calling In The One: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life. Don’t let the title fool you. This book is for ALL at any point in your life.
I had one seriously huge epiphany about myself while reading this, well two I suppose. One was personal, too personal to share here, but the other? (of course if you ask me in person, I’ll tell you because I am an open book… sometimes to my dismay, but not really…).
The one that this book made me realize once and for all who the love of my life was? Was ME.
You my friend, YOU. YOU ARE THE ONE. God, You, Spouse, Kids, Job, Friends. Things get lost easily when life gives the deck a shuffle and sometimes it’s you/me/us/God who gets lost in it. Why do we put these powerfully important things aside?
To this I say: Nosce Te Ipsum!!! Are you ready?! Know thyself. I believe that as long as we’re still here, we’re still learning, growing, and loving.
Here’s to your good growth!
At the end of the day, I have no doubt that you have the power to make choices that can liberate you from the mental prison that fear creates. You deserve to live fearless and free.
— Terri Cole