I’ll Take “Say No To Muffin Tops” For $1000 Alex

I’ll Take “Say No To Muffin Tops” For $1000 Alex

See the face? It’s me thinking, “Well, what do you know…” in a dripping sarcasm way. “All it takes is getting back on track. You know, that stuff you teach in your business silly goose.”

Oh, yes. That stuff. Hence the smirk.

You see I’ve had these jeans since 2005. Some years they fit, others, not so much. But I refuse to get rid of them! They are simply divine. Real cloth jeans. None of that stretchy stuff in them. You know what I’m talking about.

Last year, I couldn’t get these babies over my mid-thighs. UGH! That extra 10 lbs. right smack dab in the ‘danger zone’ of most women – mid-thigh to upper hips/waist! AKA: The Muffin Top Zone.

However, after putting the things I know and teach right back into play with a higher level of persistence and determination this summer – Viola’!

I love helping others with this because muffin tops, as you know, are The. Worst.

My favorite thing is when clients tell me stories or send me texts about how they keep falling out of their clothes and into smaller ones and feeling stronger and more fit because of what they have learned and earned.

For them, the muffin top war is over! And like me, if it creeps back on they now KNOW what to do to get it off, because they’ve already done it.  There is nothing ‘new’ out there. It’s just getting back on track with what worked.

This time of year I look forward to putting on a nice pair of jeans and some flip flops or some heels. If you are having a muffin top takeover by your jeans, well, here is a little diddy for ya!  It’s been around for a long time. I made it up one morning while getting ready for my day.

The Muffin Top Song (Sung to “Do Your Ears Hang Low”)

Do your muffins pop out? Do they make you scream and shout?
As you’re pullin’ up your pants and you’re doin’ that little dance.

When you’re lookin’ in the mirror, does it make you stand in fear?
While you’re sendin’ up a prayer and you’re lookin’ at your rear.

Do your muffins pop out?

When you go to the gym, are you feelin’ kinda dim?
‘Cause you don’t know what you’re doin’, so you stand there just boo hoo’n.

So it’s been another year, are you really still right there?
In that same old place, and you’re tryin’ to save face.

Do your muffins pop out?

If you do the work, I can promise it won’t hurt.
Well, maybe just a little, but your ‘stuff’ won’t wiggle, jiggle.

If you listen to me, I can truly help you see,

that there’s nothing to dread when you’re stomping on that ‘tread’…

DO! YOUR! MUFFINS! POP! OUT!? (big finish!)

It’s one of my weird creative things I enjoy to do and share… you’re welcome!

Have some faith honey! There’s a way back from all that misery of the muffin tops. Promise.

Blue skies and Big Hugs!


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